I don’t want a lukewarm love. I want it to burn my lips and engulf my soul.
I am so sad that I can’t even cry. I guess I just feel like if one tear comes out, I’ll never stop. Everyone has expected so much of me, they always say I’m the one who has it together. And the second I show any sign of less than perfect, they respond angrily. They tell me I don’t have to be perfect, but because I’m a perfectionist, they expect it. They force me into the role, while trying to convince me that they don’t want it for me. My heart is breaking completely; I can’t live their type of life anymore, but they won’t let me go. All I’ve wanted is an out, and it’s seeming dimmer. And yet I continue to apologize for not being perfect. I can’t do it anymore, but I don’t know what else to do. I just wish I could cry and laugh. I don’t want to feel so numb anymore.